Guess what? No school tomorrow!! There was a smallish ice storm, so I am excited. :)
I don't really know what to talk about. School has its fits sometimes. It gets sour, good, worse, up and down and over again. Too many people. Too many problems. Too much sadness that is taken as normal life. Right now in choir we are working on choreography for our spring musical. That is. . . interesting. I'm not an outgoing person. I don't like being up on stage, acting crazy. So I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. But maybe out of my comfort zone is a good thing sometimes.
I've been thinking a lot lately. And, you know something? I think I think too much.
No really. I need to start trusting God more. To just let Him do what He wants in me. To stop worrying about where He's taking me and enjoy the journey. To stop worrying about what people think of me and how they see me react, and just be myself. Why is it hard to not be myself around everyone, everywhere? It makes no sense. You'd think being yourself would be the most natural thing in the world. Reality doesn't always make sense. Sometimes I think it would be easier if it did.
But if reality was always logical and rational, there'd be no such thing as grace. Nothing like compassion. And forget love. Real love is impossible to fathom with your head. So it makes no sense. But it's more livable-friendly.
I really want to practice guitar right now. Night all!
3/02/2014
1/22/2014
a new semester
I spent a weekend with my friend, Chelsee. We had a lot of fun. Talking about music, Anthem Lights, watching music videos and Julian Smith TV. Yeah, that was the first time I've ever seen the latter, but it was pretty hilarious. Maybe I'll post a video sometime.
This is her doing a cover of Anthem Lights' Follow Your Heart. Pretty awesome, hm?
I also got a new guitar! Yay! Maybe I mentioned that before. . . I can't remember now. I'll get some pictures up soon.
School has gotten harder, but I can tell my professor is trying to ease us into it. She always tries to do that. I guess she doesn't want us to freak out, feel too overwhelmed and give up altogehter. The only people allowed in the music classes are music majors. I think that's a little too limiting, but I guess they want to teach the people who are serious about learning music. Still. So our class was smallish to begin with. Maybe ten, eleven people, or so. Now I think there's only six or seven of us.
Honestly, I'm still so unsure as to why I'm here doing this. Music. I love it. I promise that. But I'm not sure what I will do with a music degree. Everybody asks me what I want to do. I'm not sure. I just know I really enjoy what I'm learning. I wish I knew the answers to their questions. But for now, all I can say is I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be where He is, where He leads me. If He wants me to continue with music as my major, I'll do so. If He wants me to switch again, I'll do so. If He wants me to stop going to college altogether, then so be it. Wherever God is, that's where you'll find me.
I still get frustrated with myself because I have no idea where I'm going. I still worry about the future sometimes. Recently, I've trying hard to give it to God. To take it one day at a time and just honor Him in everything. That is so difficult sometimes. A lot of the times. But God has a plan. And I should leave the details to Him. He'll let me know what I need to know when I need to know it.
Oh, we are going to see Skillet at the Rock and Worship Road show this Friday! I can't wait. Jamie Grace will be there too. I really enjoyed seeing her at Celebrate Freedom.
I'll go now. Have a good week.
Switchfoot's The Sound
This is her doing a cover of Anthem Lights' Follow Your Heart. Pretty awesome, hm?
I also got a new guitar! Yay! Maybe I mentioned that before. . . I can't remember now. I'll get some pictures up soon.
School has gotten harder, but I can tell my professor is trying to ease us into it. She always tries to do that. I guess she doesn't want us to freak out, feel too overwhelmed and give up altogehter. The only people allowed in the music classes are music majors. I think that's a little too limiting, but I guess they want to teach the people who are serious about learning music. Still. So our class was smallish to begin with. Maybe ten, eleven people, or so. Now I think there's only six or seven of us.
Honestly, I'm still so unsure as to why I'm here doing this. Music. I love it. I promise that. But I'm not sure what I will do with a music degree. Everybody asks me what I want to do. I'm not sure. I just know I really enjoy what I'm learning. I wish I knew the answers to their questions. But for now, all I can say is I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to be where He is, where He leads me. If He wants me to continue with music as my major, I'll do so. If He wants me to switch again, I'll do so. If He wants me to stop going to college altogether, then so be it. Wherever God is, that's where you'll find me.
I still get frustrated with myself because I have no idea where I'm going. I still worry about the future sometimes. Recently, I've trying hard to give it to God. To take it one day at a time and just honor Him in everything. That is so difficult sometimes. A lot of the times. But God has a plan. And I should leave the details to Him. He'll let me know what I need to know when I need to know it.
Oh, we are going to see Skillet at the Rock and Worship Road show this Friday! I can't wait. Jamie Grace will be there too. I really enjoyed seeing her at Celebrate Freedom.
I'll go now. Have a good week.
Switchfoot's The Sound
1/09/2014
still here
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Everything came at once and then- winter break! Break, yes. But of course the space of free time was rarely free. It got filled with work. Bleh.
But that's okay.
I got a classical guitar! Yay! I'm very excited. I want to take some pictures soon and post them. I just haven't had a chance. I'm actually supposed to practicing now. But then I was scouring youtube for what songs sound like, and how to play this or that. We have slow internet. And I get distracted easily.
So I'm here.
I've been trying to read tabs for You Are My Hope by Skillet. So far I have the intro. . . Yeah, that's good. The intro and the verses are the same though. *cough* So maybe, reading tabs is a new to me still. I want to look at some Switchfoot songs too. I'm just afraid they'll be too hard for me. Especially the tabs.
Here's some songs that've been stuck in my head for the past couple of months.
Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot. The music is fun. But I really like the lyrics. Especially the chorus and bridge.
Playing for Keeps by Switchfoot. I really don't let go of things very well. Whether I want to or not. Like it's in my nature to hold on and never let go.
The Loser by Switchfoot. Learning to Breathe used to be my favorite off this album, but now it's The Loser. I love the music. Lately, I've been seeing more and more how being a Christian has to do with laying down your rights. Sure, you might have a right to hold a grudge, you have a right to hurt someone because they hurt you first, you have a right to walk away, to not care, to say something ugly. Everyone does it. But God wants us to lay down on our rights and love instead, just like He does. And love? Love is a sacrifice, it makes you vulnerable to being hurt. Yet it still loves through and after the pain. That's what real love is, God's love. And the world doesn't get that. To the world, it's stupid. People who do that are idiots. They wear themselves out for nothing. And turning the other cheek? It's a foreign language to the world, to the people around me. But it's the language I speak. The language of God's love.
In general, I'm used to letting people step on me, overlook me, think I'm stupid or shallow just because I'm shy and don't talk much. And I've often realized that it's so true that I'm speaking a different language. But sometimes, I do get fed up with it. I get tired of them assuming I'm stupid. That I don't know what they just did to me. That I don't know they're snickering about me behind my back. And sometimes this song helps me remember that's its okay to be the loser.
Maybe sometimes I let people think I'm stupid. I play dumb on occasion, mostly out of sarcasm. Of course, only I understand the sarcasm behind the dumb act, because they don't see it. They fall for it. It's kind of funny that they really think that I don't understand what they're saying to me. But sometimes, I wish that they did understand. That they really saw. But they don't and they won't. They don't care enough to get that close. I don't have to play dumb. Sometimes I question if I should or not. But it's easier than trying to be close friends with them. I know that sounds bad. But it's the truth.
And so maybe playing dumb, is kind of my mask? Because even though I do try to love. You get hurt so easily that way. Like I said, real love leaves you wide open to all kinds of hurt. Maybe playing dumb is a way to distance myself from everyone else. From them and the potential pain. To keep from getting to close.
It doesn't sound like a good thing. I didn't realize that I even had a mask. I mean, I know I'm shy and people don't see me for me right off. But still I didn't even think that maybe my playing dumb was a mask. Hiding behind what they expect of me instead of letting them see who I really am.
I didn't even mean for this post to go in this direction. I would never have realized this if I had not written it.
Hm, I guess I have some thinking to do.
But that's okay.
I got a classical guitar! Yay! I'm very excited. I want to take some pictures soon and post them. I just haven't had a chance. I'm actually supposed to practicing now. But then I was scouring youtube for what songs sound like, and how to play this or that. We have slow internet. And I get distracted easily.
So I'm here.
I've been trying to read tabs for You Are My Hope by Skillet. So far I have the intro. . . Yeah, that's good. The intro and the verses are the same though. *cough* So maybe, reading tabs is a new to me still. I want to look at some Switchfoot songs too. I'm just afraid they'll be too hard for me. Especially the tabs.
Here's some songs that've been stuck in my head for the past couple of months.
Playing for Keeps by Switchfoot. I really don't let go of things very well. Whether I want to or not. Like it's in my nature to hold on and never let go.
The Loser by Switchfoot. Learning to Breathe used to be my favorite off this album, but now it's The Loser. I love the music. Lately, I've been seeing more and more how being a Christian has to do with laying down your rights. Sure, you might have a right to hold a grudge, you have a right to hurt someone because they hurt you first, you have a right to walk away, to not care, to say something ugly. Everyone does it. But God wants us to lay down on our rights and love instead, just like He does. And love? Love is a sacrifice, it makes you vulnerable to being hurt. Yet it still loves through and after the pain. That's what real love is, God's love. And the world doesn't get that. To the world, it's stupid. People who do that are idiots. They wear themselves out for nothing. And turning the other cheek? It's a foreign language to the world, to the people around me. But it's the language I speak. The language of God's love.
In general, I'm used to letting people step on me, overlook me, think I'm stupid or shallow just because I'm shy and don't talk much. And I've often realized that it's so true that I'm speaking a different language. But sometimes, I do get fed up with it. I get tired of them assuming I'm stupid. That I don't know what they just did to me. That I don't know they're snickering about me behind my back. And sometimes this song helps me remember that's its okay to be the loser.
Maybe sometimes I let people think I'm stupid. I play dumb on occasion, mostly out of sarcasm. Of course, only I understand the sarcasm behind the dumb act, because they don't see it. They fall for it. It's kind of funny that they really think that I don't understand what they're saying to me. But sometimes, I wish that they did understand. That they really saw. But they don't and they won't. They don't care enough to get that close. I don't have to play dumb. Sometimes I question if I should or not. But it's easier than trying to be close friends with them. I know that sounds bad. But it's the truth.
And so maybe playing dumb, is kind of my mask? Because even though I do try to love. You get hurt so easily that way. Like I said, real love leaves you wide open to all kinds of hurt. Maybe playing dumb is a way to distance myself from everyone else. From them and the potential pain. To keep from getting to close.
It doesn't sound like a good thing. I didn't realize that I even had a mask. I mean, I know I'm shy and people don't see me for me right off. But still I didn't even think that maybe my playing dumb was a mask. Hiding behind what they expect of me instead of letting them see who I really am.
I didn't even mean for this post to go in this direction. I would never have realized this if I had not written it.
Hm, I guess I have some thinking to do.
11/19/2013
A prayer
Hi, God. It's just me. You know, Your everyday human. And I mean that as in I'm Your human that You see and think about everyday. Why, I
will never know. I'm not sure why You choose to love us. It must hurt so
much at times when we fall away or turn our backs on You. I'm sorry.
Very sorry. But You are so faithful. You know what real love is. You are
real love. Thank You for always being here for me. No matter how far. I
stray, You always take me back. And You always pick me up.
I feel very confused right now. About a lot of things. Sometimes it feels like everything. And I know that no one will understand very well. Except You. You always understand. Please guide me. Show me where You want me. What You want me to do. Or say. I just want to be with You really. If You tell me to give it all up, I will just to stay by You. That's where I belong. There's nothing else I want to do except follow Your heart. You know what's best anyhow. Sometimes I'm so confused. And I wonder if I even have a good reason to be.
And I'm kind of lonely too. I'd like some friends. Some good friends. Close friends. If that's okay. Help me to always cling to You first. To never compromise You. But when You do give me some good, close friends, help me to be real, true friend to them. A friend like You. A faithful friend, who never leaves.
I love You so much. Everything will turn out well. You have it in Your hands. Thank You so much. For everything. For Your unfathomable love.
Your everyday human,I feel very confused right now. About a lot of things. Sometimes it feels like everything. And I know that no one will understand very well. Except You. You always understand. Please guide me. Show me where You want me. What You want me to do. Or say. I just want to be with You really. If You tell me to give it all up, I will just to stay by You. That's where I belong. There's nothing else I want to do except follow Your heart. You know what's best anyhow. Sometimes I'm so confused. And I wonder if I even have a good reason to be.
And I'm kind of lonely too. I'd like some friends. Some good friends. Close friends. If that's okay. Help me to always cling to You first. To never compromise You. But when You do give me some good, close friends, help me to be real, true friend to them. A friend like You. A faithful friend, who never leaves.
I love You so much. Everything will turn out well. You have it in Your hands. Thank You so much. For everything. For Your unfathomable love.
Ashely, aka Nic G.
11/15/2013
To try
And we did it! God and I did it. :) I love to know that I can say that.
I've been really feeling kind of down lately because it seems no matter how hard I try, it's never enough. I still get bad grades. I still mess up. And sometimes I get weary of trying. I don't have enough strength for it anymore.
But you know something? God is my hope. He is my strength, and He is my everlasting. He will be there to keep it together when I can't. And I know it'll work out somehow. My grades will get better if I keep sincerely trying. The light bulb will go on. And I'll mess up. But God will pick me back up and always give me a chance to do it better next time.
And He gave me that hope yesterday on that stage with Him, my guitar, and me. That it'll be alright. Because I'm in His hands. And that's where I belong. And really, I don't want to belong anywhere else.
11/13/2013
And so life goes
So not much is going on. Except that I stink at ear training. Intervals, chords, melodic dictation. All of it. It's the first class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and it sucks all the motivation out of everything. I've been using this website musicalmind.org to study with. I just did the melodic intervals but only the 2nds and 3rds. A part of me is rejoicing because I got a 60% instead of a 40%. And the other part of me is wonders if I'll ever get good at this stuff.
I'm performing at the student recital tomorrow. A little nervous about that. No, very nervous about that. My brain just hasn't realized it yet. It's slow to fully process the impact of some things.
I've realized though lately that I've been rely on myself and my circumstances to get me through things. I haven't been asking God to help with everyday things as often. I haven't been giving Him cares like I should. Instead I let it bother and I try to figure it out myself. And I didn't know I was doing this until recently.
So I'm trying to trust Him more. To thank Him for everyday things. To ask Him to help me in everyday things. Because, believe it or not, the little things are the big things. Pretend that makes sense. To trust Him with my finances, my future, my study time, work time, in between time (that's usually reserved for breathing), my where-in-the-world-am-I-going. Just everything. And it's kind of hard. But it's nice to know that I belong to God. If nowhere else, I belong right in the middle of His hands where He will hold me close and guide my steps. And really, there's no other place I'd rather be.
I'm performing at the student recital tomorrow. A little nervous about that. No, very nervous about that. My brain just hasn't realized it yet. It's slow to fully process the impact of some things.
I've realized though lately that I've been rely on myself and my circumstances to get me through things. I haven't been asking God to help with everyday things as often. I haven't been giving Him cares like I should. Instead I let it bother and I try to figure it out myself. And I didn't know I was doing this until recently.
So I'm trying to trust Him more. To thank Him for everyday things. To ask Him to help me in everyday things. Because, believe it or not, the little things are the big things. Pretend that makes sense. To trust Him with my finances, my future, my study time, work time, in between time (that's usually reserved for breathing), my where-in-the-world-am-I-going. Just everything. And it's kind of hard. But it's nice to know that I belong to God. If nowhere else, I belong right in the middle of His hands where He will hold me close and guide my steps. And really, there's no other place I'd rather be.
11/06/2013
'Tick Tock' goes the clock
Anthem Lights did release their new Covers 2 album. Oct. 29th, I think. Their new original album is coming up in the new year. Hurray!
for King & Country has released a new single. Exciting, yes?
Everyone is running around like mad because finals are soon. Jury is soon (it's like music major finals). And Christmas? My workplace set up Christmas decorations on Halloween! I'm disgusted with them. What happened to Thanksgiving? I just want to enjoy each day as it comes. Or deal with each day as it comes.
Rushing is not something I do well. Normally I trip all over myself and make a mess out of everything. Realistically and metaphorically. It's not very pretty. But if you stand still, the world will spin right by you. Time is such an elusive thing.
Sometimes I have to rethink my priorities. What really matters? Getting As are good. Progressing in my goals like learning more about music and guitar. Finishing the first draft to my book. Doing well at work is good too.
Even though there's hardly enough time for all that. Isn't it more important to take time out for God? To really spend time with Him. And (maybe this sounds weird) let Him love you? To make time for other people? Family. Friends. People, in general?
I think I've been slacking in some priorities.
for King & Country has released a new single. Exciting, yes?
Everyone is running around like mad because finals are soon. Jury is soon (it's like music major finals). And Christmas? My workplace set up Christmas decorations on Halloween! I'm disgusted with them. What happened to Thanksgiving? I just want to enjoy each day as it comes. Or deal with each day as it comes.
Rushing is not something I do well. Normally I trip all over myself and make a mess out of everything. Realistically and metaphorically. It's not very pretty. But if you stand still, the world will spin right by you. Time is such an elusive thing.
Sometimes I have to rethink my priorities. What really matters? Getting As are good. Progressing in my goals like learning more about music and guitar. Finishing the first draft to my book. Doing well at work is good too.
Even though there's hardly enough time for all that. Isn't it more important to take time out for God? To really spend time with Him. And (maybe this sounds weird) let Him love you? To make time for other people? Family. Friends. People, in general?
I think I've been slacking in some priorities.
For a little change, how about some Steven Curtis Chapman? Old and new songs. Variety everything up, right? :D
10/29/2013
random stuff
Did you know-
Anthem Lights will have a new album out soon?! No, I don't know the exact date. But the fact that they are. Original music by Anthem Lights. Yay!
Did you know-
They're also coming out with/ or already have come out with a second Covers album? That's pretty awesome too. :)
Did you know-
That I really don't know any of these release dates because the only way I even know this stuff is because I 'like' them on Facebook? Heh, I'm not on Facebook very often. (Who came up with the term 'like'? It sounds so ridiculous.)
Did you know-
For King & Country is also preparing album numero two?! I absolutely cannot wait, people! They are actually playing in Round Rock, TX this Saturday. Unfortunately, I will probably not be there. But I hope they have a great time in Texas anyhow. I've been listening to them a lot lately. And Switchfoot.
But for now, I'm waiting for the computer to load some Anthem Lights songs.
That's all for today. Consider yourself updated. Well, half updated. . . since, um, I'm didn't give you all the information. *cough* Sorry. :D
Anthem Lights will have a new album out soon?! No, I don't know the exact date. But the fact that they are. Original music by Anthem Lights. Yay!
Did you know-
They're also coming out with/ or already have come out with a second Covers album? That's pretty awesome too. :)
Did you know-
That I really don't know any of these release dates because the only way I even know this stuff is because I 'like' them on Facebook? Heh, I'm not on Facebook very often. (Who came up with the term 'like'? It sounds so ridiculous.)
Did you know-
For King & Country is also preparing album numero two?! I absolutely cannot wait, people! They are actually playing in Round Rock, TX this Saturday. Unfortunately, I will probably not be there. But I hope they have a great time in Texas anyhow. I've been listening to them a lot lately. And Switchfoot.
But for now, I'm waiting for the computer to load some Anthem Lights songs.
That's all for today. Consider yourself updated. Well, half updated. . . since, um, I'm didn't give you all the information. *cough* Sorry. :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)